In coaching we often ask three simple questions to help a person think through an event, project or situation, to generate their own feedback.

What did you do well?

What could you improve on?

How would you do that differently next time?

Asking these three questions, interspersed by "What else?" or "What other thoughts come to mind?" is a powerful way of debriefing a situation and generating feedback.  Our human nature is often quick to see what went wrong and to minimize the many positive things that happened.  It is so helpful to start with the positive and recognize what did go well.

After thinking through what could be improved on, we are in a good position to consider practical...

Feed forward seems less scary and more positive than feedback. The idea of feed forward was introduced to me by Marshall Goldsmith in his book 'What got you here won't get you there'.  I like that it is future looking and practical.

In summary there are 4 simple steps to feed forward:-

1. Pick the behavior you would like to change,

2. Describe this objective in conversation with anyone you meet,

3. Ask that person for two suggestions that might help you achieve positive change in your selected behavior,

4. Listen attentively to their suggestions and reply only with a 'thank you'. (Do not add ' but' or 'however'!)

Feed Forward - Ask for ideas, listen, say thank you!

Maybe your...

When it comes to feedback I face an inner struggle.  I know it's character building and crucial for my personal growth, yet a large part of me doesn't want to hear it. I shy from wanting to know where I could improve.

For many of us feedback causes us to go into defensive mode, fight-or-flight.  That's because we see feedback as dangerous.  But Henry Cloud (Boundaries for Leaders) suggests that if we see it as a gift, we will hunger for more.  He says that 'to be the best you can be, you must develop a hunger for feedback. Good character welcomes feedback and foolish character fights it off'.

In order to grow and change we need to seek out...